On the Journey...

     My mentor always tells me to "find value in the journey" and that the "journey should be respected."  I believe that both those things are true but boy oh boy when you have to live in it it's very different.  For my part, I am always concerned about the "why".  There is something in me that has trouble understanding how and why people invest so much energy in mean-spiritedness.  The flip side of that, is that if you asked someone why they do it, they likely couldn't tell you. 

    Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.  I always remind myself that people are who and what they are--nothing more nothing less.  The same can also be said of me.  SO, it's pretty clear that my career has now become a job.  I have been assigned to a program whose fundamental philosophy I don't really believe in.  I am on a path that will crush me or I will break free on the other side with a story to tell.  Stay tuned.  Being honest, right now, the journey is winning.

     I want to grow. I can and have grown.  For right now though, I'm struggling.  Some of my struggle is self-inflicted.  I feel I can be and do so much more.  Some of it has to do with how I feel I'm valued.  Now that piece is definitely self-inflicted because at the end of the day, it should only matter that my kids want me, and that Still is cool with Still.  I am considering several things.  I will also say that the madness has also forced me to take a hard look at me.  Am I afraid to step out on my own?  What keeps me in the place I'm in?  Why won't my Spirit meet my resolve halfway?  Is this a sign that this is the moment to step out on faith and consider entrepenuership?  Whatever the case, I'm coming out of this shit with a story to tell.  Put the kids to bed and pull up a chair.  Pray for me, I'm praying for you.  Respect the journey and get it done.