I am very fortunate. I have a life that is worse than some but I suspect better than most. I can claim two high school graduates and their very bright younger brother. Some parents, single or not, can't claim the same. I was lamenting about the thought of books and tuition and one of the docs I worked with reminded me that I could be figuring out how to raise bail and pay restitution. Sounded like he knew a little something about it but I didn't probe.
As fortunate as I am, I cope with the same woes as other parents do. A non-paying ex, more obligations than cash and the neverending stream of sentences that begin with; "Mommy I need...", "Can I have...", "Will you buy me.." and my personal favorite "Did you get paid this week?" I am pretty good at balancing but when I am short I am angry. Why am I hustling and thinking about how to get paper and pay bills and he's off somewhere out of the fray? For his part, he has been blunt. " 'You will figure it out, you always do.' " " 'Get your family to help out, they usually do.' " Honest answer--because I allowed it. I suspect, continuing in honesty, that this is really the part that pisses me off. For far too long, I managed to get things done with help from family. I have also developed such a set of skills that have proved highly helpful in my day to day work life. The reality is that by not holding feet to the fire, and managing without the consistent financial support of their other parent, I've taught him to believe that he is bonus money. The reality is that he has never really been forced to be day to day in the struggle. So, at the end of the day, I am really angry with myself right along with him. I give him his props though--he learned way more about me than I thought he did. Stay in the struggle, and get it done.
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