The Relationship Recession

     So, the nation's credit rating has been downgraded.  There's plenty of blame to go around and that will likely be the subject of another post.  My grandparents used to say that "faith is easy to have when things are good..." and I believe this to be absolutely true.  As life would have it, that's eactly when you don't really need it.

     There was a time in my life when I profoundly believed that all you needed to sustain a relationship was love and mutual respect.  While I believe in both of them whole-heartedly, the reality is that the two of them alone won't get the job done.  The fact of the matter is that there are too many things at play working against the likelihood of a positive outcome.  Financially, life has been tough for a large portion of the people in the nation.  In all honesty, as a person with three kids and one income, I have always been recessed.  The recession hit upper middle and middle middle class a lot harder than it hit the rest of us.  I think I have a better toolkit than most.

    The recession has moved to relationships as well--but not in the obvious way.  Let me point out from this point moving forward that I am speaking with regard to my little circle of 40 somethings.  Each person is an individual in their own right so if you don't see yourself in this then read for informational purposes only.

    The watermark is higher.  In the day and age of recession, what gets a person in the door is less about their presentation and more about our willingness.  In short, it takes more to get in the door.  I might drive 60 miles to meet someone but on $4 a gallon gasoline it isn't likely unless I see last name potential.  Conversely, people  are more likely to hang onto and in relationships that are less than optimal if one party or another--or both feel that going it alone financially is going to be difficult.

     The reality is that the recession is also emotional.  After struggling with the day to day in and outs of navigating a workplace, finances and other interpersonal relationships there isn't a lot left to go around.  This doesn't mean that there are not tons of successful unions forming.  After the getting real is done, each individual has to determine where they are about relationships and whom to get involved with.

     For my part I will be honest to say that a stimulating, mind bending conversation is wonderful and I now will ask who is paying for the coffee that we have it over.  In every cloud, there is a silver lining.  The lining in this one may be that people are saving in record percentages and the "entrepreneurial" is shining through in all facets of life including dating.  At the end of the day, we will all make our choices--and rise or fall we will be left with the wreckage or the afterglow.

    I think so..and what?