USA, U. Stress.A, Unbelievably Stressed Americans

  So what a week.  The YAAAAAAANNNNNKKKKEES win!  All out throw down in the Canyon of Heroes.  Major Dr Nidal Malik Hassan walks in to the Soldier Readiness Center and opens fire. He kills twelve people.  Another person dies from their injuries the following day.  Thirty one people wounded including Hassan.  Jose Rodriguez walks into an office building in Florida and opens fire. One dead, several injured.

   As the economy tightens on a personal level, while people keep hearing that things are getting better more and more people are becoming frustrated.  I have long believed that for a certain portion of the population, just everyday survival can and likely lead to PTSD.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  We are more frequently hearing of people just "snapping".  This is a drama that will unfold many more times in many more places until, we as a nation, heal our pain.  Soldiers are fighting and dying in two wars across the world.  Their families are here trying to manage day to day existence under the pressure of bottom dollar home prices, top dollar food prices, climbing gas prices and shrinking numbers of places and people you can turn to for support.  Throw in on top of that not knowing whether you will have a job in six months.

   All in all, even if you have excellent coping skills to start with--and most don't--the prolonged nature of the stress can be too much, and that is your basic definition of PTSD.  In my work, I deal with people who are living in their pain, and with the byproducts of it.  I have always believed that the only thing that separates one person from another are the series of choices that they make.  One person chooses therapy, another drugs.  One person chooses to reach out and another chooses to get out. 

    I have gone through tough times with the economy myself, and working on a grant that's closing, my future is uncertain also.  I have something that many don't have though.  I believe that at the end of the day no matter how difficult it gets, the ship will right itself.  As someone pointed out to me, I have a wonderful set of problems.  One child in college, another on the way to college and a very bright preschooler and how to pay for it all.  He pointed out that I could be spending money on bail and restitution as opposed to uniforms and college applications. Sometimes, all you need is perspective.  There but for the grace of God go I. 

"I'm Glad To Have A Job, But Damn..."

... is something I have said to myself everyday this week. I have to remind myself that some people would kill to be knee deep in foolishness and cutthroat bitches. So, I have good friends that were co-workers four months ago.  They are now "my friends I used to work with".   This was the whole hitting home thing for me.  I work in what must possibly be the most hostile work environment ever created.  Now my boss is not grabbing my ass or anything like that--but that would likely be an improvement. 

I have decided that when I retire I am going to write a book--and please know--I'm not changing a single name because none of these itchbays is innocent.   You simply can't make up characters this good. The conniving young upstart, the two-faced colleague, the puppet and the master, and the don't have a clue person will bear their official government names.  I may be kind enough not to use first and last but it will all depend on how I come through.  It amazes me what people will do sometimes.  I have worked with substance abusers for a long time and really, they have nothing on this group of trifling chicks. They are the poster for an all male workplace. For my part, I shouldn't let it get to me, but there are days when the busyness is so loud that it's like listening to the PA system in a stadium where it's just you.  My department is in a state of flux.  By all accounts, it appears that the guard is changing.

I worked on a "special project" and my life hasn't been the same since.  For one thing, I learned a lot about the true nature of some of my colleagues and believe me, ugly is a river and she runs real deep.  For the better part, I have a concrete understanding of where I stand.  Trust me, it wasn't where I thought it was.  I am glad I have a job.  It helps with the money.  I have no idea how much longer I will have my job, but I know that I have an opportunity to determine my fate in some small way.   Someone has determined that I shouldn't be paid for the work I've done.  I'm just going to keep praying on that.

There is a proverb that says "smooth seas don't make for skillful sailors."  Well then, between momming, relationships and work, I can sail the globe in a dingy.  I'm glad to have a job, but damn...  Don't get it twisted, I will get it done.