Doomsday Preppers

    I tell you, burning the wee-hours-of-the-morning-oil has some unique and previously hidden experiences.  For all I know this show comes on in prime time. Let me be honest, initially I thought "Great, some backwoods mofos with money playing survivalist."  Then several things occurred to me and I ended up here to tell you about them.  

    I fault no one for their choice of lifestyle.  There are many things that we do that other people look at with incredulity.  At first blush, I dismissed the whole concept--and for the most part I still do.  In many ways, the whole movement makes me sad.  As a parent, I will fiercely protect my children.  I mean like Taken style protect my kids.  I mean Ashley Judd Missing style protect my kids.  That being said, I'm not sure if training them to believe that some catastrophic event will befall them and then have them live in preparation for it, qualifies as protection.  How do they form solid bonds with others if they believe that the end is coming and everyone is the enemy?

    I also had to gut check myself and wonder what if they are absolutely right?  Then I thought about the hording behavior and the obsession and it occurred to me, that the ends don't really justify the means.  I love the capitalistic nature of enterprising individuals.  There is an entire market of stuff dedicated to these folks.  Bunkers, booby traps, guns, EM pulse protectors, MRE rations.  All kinds of shit.  It's actually amazing when you think about it.  What happens when you discover that you've spent all your money on an underground bunker and in order to survive you have to stay above ground?  

    The take away for me is that I don't think I am an "End Of Days" kinda girl.  I have no real interest in waiting out a nuclear winter or living post EM pulse--my phone and tech would be useless.  How would I blog?  If you have a year's worth of food in your garage then I hope you share when the time comes.  Get it done.

Life in an Allegedly Post Racial America or "Why You Mad For Though?..."

    So, when I started this blog I indicated that it would be subject to random musing.  Well, it's a random musing kind of day.  Let me start with the disclaimer.  This is just how I feel.  I do not purport to speak for anyone other than myself.  So, that being said...leggo...

   "Post Racial America" is a liberal guy's wet dream and a reactionary's nightmare.  I live here and I can tell you it isn't post-racial at all. I would actually suggest that with an African American POTUS that things are more racial than ever.  I am secretly enjoying watching the person reading over my shoulder cringe with disdain.  Well, not so secret anymore.  Here in the supposedly post racial belly of the beast--Harlem--I am painfully aware of the shifts, changes and growing pains.  

   

     Start with the fact that I am sitting in a Starbucks that up until two years ago was a vacant, undeveloped patch of dirt, enjoying a Breve Mistto.  My shameless treat to myself on the one day a month I arrive in the city four hours before I need to because the kid needs an education. Now, I am not sure what purpose Starbucks serves in other communities.  I know here in Harlem it is more like a community hub than anything else.  People bring their coffee and buy cake in an effort to satisfy the cultural conditioning that you can't sit some place where you didn't buy anything.  Prior to Magic Johnson, Starbucks was notorious for avoiding communities of color.  In many ways, it was the floodgate.  Following them was Bank of America, MAC, Chase and Aerosoles just to name a few.

    That's a  grassroots look.  On a broader national scale we post the articles highlighting this "racially insensitive" or that flat out bigoted statement.  I think my surprise is about the fact that people are still surprised that a portion of the nation still hates me because of my skin.  And why shouldn't they?  Newt Gingrich tells them that I have no role models and live on food stamps.  Anne Coulter tells them that "their blacks are better."  Sean Hannity tells them that the President that looks like me is an "appeaser" and on top of all that Rush Limbaugh says that the nation should fail.  So, if I didn't have a healthy sense of self -esteem or if I believed every drug addicted racist with a media outlet I would be fucked.  

    My grandfather--God rest his soul--used to say "Never be mad when people tell you who they are up front..."  Could not have possibly gotten more sage advice from anyone.  We have a political party that has moved so far to the right that even its base is wondering "WTF?"  We have had senators and congressman say all kinds of outrageous stuff about and to the President.  There is a subconscious portion of the Caucasian psyche--in some--that believes that he is somehow undeserving of the post he was elected to.  Please note that he was elected by the nation not solely by minorities.

  Be grateful that you are painfully aware of who is influencing minds and winning hearts.  The likely nominee for the Republican nomination is a man who put his dog on the roof of a van and offered to place a $10,000 bet.  When was the last time you bet 1o large on ANYTHING?  Shoot, when was the last time you had 10 large period?  The very same gentleman who said he wasn't concerned about the poor and was a staunch opponent of the auto industry bailout, and simply can't be human enough to say "Wow, I was wrong about that." ?  Scary. 

    Pay attention people.  You are in on the ground floor of the human rights rollback.  Voter suppression is at an all time high.  Reactionary talk radio is at an all time high.  Newt Gingrich says your 10 year old should sweep the school in tribute for his education.  Mitt Romney believes that we should be looking for engineering talent abroad while he fails to fund talented students here at home.  Rick Santorum stated that he is not opposed to racial profiling.  Rich people are complaining about class warfare.  Enough already, my ears are bleeding.

   If you aren't thinking about what to do to combat the coming wave of anti-everything-but-me then you have cahones like bowling balls and good luck to you.  For those of us who are more real world based, we need to start planning.  The revolution will not be televised--maybe tweeted--or posted--but not televised.  Get it done.

   

The Case for Workplace Cooperation or "You Don't REALLY Have to Be That Bitch"

     As the economy continues to change so does business.  As I proceed, I do realize that there are some people who work in a Corporate Utopia and will not be able to relate to what I am talking about.  As I get older, I do a lot of thinking about my path and how the path I planned wasn't necessarily the one I walked.  There are days when this bit of wondering consumes me and other days where it matters not at all.  As I observe the world around me I acknowledge several things.

     I observe often.  I assess a lot.  I muse with impunity.  I piss people off sometimes because I tend to do these things openly, without remorse.  The fact of the matter is that I have always believed that where work and women intersect can be one of the most dangerous and difficult places to navigate.  I have lived to survive it thus far.Let me pause here to say that I am a woman in the workplace.  While my journey wasn't the one I expected--it has been interesting. 

      I have a lot of respect for how men move with each other in the workplace--and I will come back to this in a moment.  It may be as complex as a double helix or as simple as warm apple pie.  This is not a comparison or "who's-better-us-or-them" piece.  As an African American woman in the workplace I think we would benefit from supporting each other in the workplace.  We hear that "Girls Rule the World" and "Black Girls Rock".  Girls will rule your future and black girls will rock your knot if they believe you are interfering with their road to the corporate tower of light.

    As much as women have better choices and less sacrifice than they did even fifteen or twenty years ago they have the same choices and the same sacrifices.  Women still face the baby now or wait dilemma.  We still have the not-paid-as-much-as-men issue although the gap has closed slightly. 

    So, why do we chew each other up and spit each other out?  I'm sure that the reasons vary as much as the people who have them.  Everything from undiagnosed psychiatric illnesses to trust issues to family pedigree. I have always been of the mind that content people are more productive.  Sometimes it is a vague as "I just don't like her..." or as specific as some perceived or actual wrong in the past.  Why does it all matter anyway?

    The Corporate workplace is changing.  The job market is ever evolving as are the people seeking jobs.  In this day and age the person you cross today could be the person you are interviewing with tomorrow.  It is always better to build bridges than to burn them?  Something to think about.

"Wow, It's Loud In Here Too?!?!..."

    I was in a public library the other day.  I went during my lunch hour to get a little something done and to have a moment of peace and quiet.  So, pray tell, imagine my surprise when I entered the library and found that it was louder than my beloved spot where they married two pleasures of mine--coffee and books.  Un freaking real.  When did we become so loud?

    It has been bugging me as to how the Library changed, and more importantly, how did I miss it?  With the advent of technology like iPads, headphones and laptops we no longer feel the need to be concerned about what's happening around us or how loud we are because somehow we can be as loud as we want to be since it's self contained.  Well, if you wasted a minute believing that let me be the first to tell you that it's a crock of caca.  First of all, not everybody spends the money for Bose or Dr. Dre Beats.  I walked and heard a plethora of everything from Bach to Bitches.  Even the desk people were loud.  Clearly I was disappointed enough since I am blogging about it.

    So, for those of you who are reading and about to suggest that it must have been a random incident at a single library--I checked.  I visited the city libraries and found roughly the same thing at each.  I will give a shout out to the security officer at Countee Cullen branch who directed to a "less loud" portion of the library.  I have concluded that people value what I call "quiet pauses" less and less.  Maybe they don't look for them in public places.  Maybe that's why yoga is a billion dollar a year industry.  Shhhhh.

"The Best Things In Life Are Free..."

...Or at least you don't pay for them with money.  I have not been blogging as I promised myself I would do more readily and more consistently.  Part of the problem was that I didn't really think I had anything to say.  As it turns out,  I probably had more to say than I thought.

    Whether you are devoutly religious or unabashedly atheist, I think that we can all agree that there are moments in life that we can characterize as nothing less than amazing.  I don't know how many of these moments you are allowed to have in your life, but I feel fortunate because I think I have had more than most.  I can count among my gifts;  three healthy children, employment and a network of friends and family that would say they love me if you asked.  Pretty damn good I would say.

    I have spent a lot of time this year lamenting about "my situation."  As I sit and have a really honest conversation with myself, I have concluded that the term "my situation" is a euphemism for not being where I want to be in my life.  This is an empowering tidbit.  It has allowed me to wrest control from the "they don't want me to..." camp and put it in the "I am am going to" camp.  This is not to suggest that there are not people who don't want to see someone do well but the best thing that you can do for them is to be exactly what they say you aren't.  It pisses them off lovely.

    I had a chance to spend some time with my family for the holidays.  It occurred to me that the very moment that I live for may be the moment of someone else's dread.  That made me sad and thankful at the same time. The reality is that there are people who you shouldn't spend time with.  They steal joy from your moments.  Some intentionally, some not but the result is the same.  So, I leave you with two thoughts:  Don't be so caught up in the bigness of life that you forget that it is made up of little moments and make sure that everyone on your team is playing for the win.  Claim it and get it done.

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"Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil..."

...is something I say at least once a week.  Generally, I say it to others as a joke.  The reality is that I could probably stand to look inward and do the same thing.  So, I am fresh off of a hellacious day at my job.  The reality is that I have told the truth and shamed the devil--to myself. 

     Everybody's truth is different and your own personal truth can change everyday.  The real talk for me is that I hate my job.  I have been dancing around this for a minute.  I am a fancy clerk.  Nothing wrong with being a clerk if that is what it says on your ID.  It ain't what it says on mine.  My other truth is that I am sensitive.  Something I am trying to work on.  Even though I am sensitive, I still can tell when someone is inappropriate. 

   

    The "tell the truth" for me is that I do not like being a woman in the workplace.  I do not like how other women behave in the workplace.  I am exhausted by dealing with "girl shit."  I am no angel and I have girlshit too--but I at least try to hang on to mine.

     The workplace appears to be where people's issues meet their actions and expressions.  I need to get off my arse and get moving on turning my dreams into reality.  So, to all you ranters, ragers, haters and naysayers--THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.  You got a chick moving.

   

The Relationship Recession

     So, the nation's credit rating has been downgraded.  There's plenty of blame to go around and that will likely be the subject of another post.  My grandparents used to say that "faith is easy to have when things are good..." and I believe this to be absolutely true.  As life would have it, that's eactly when you don't really need it.

     There was a time in my life when I profoundly believed that all you needed to sustain a relationship was love and mutual respect.  While I believe in both of them whole-heartedly, the reality is that the two of them alone won't get the job done.  The fact of the matter is that there are too many things at play working against the likelihood of a positive outcome.  Financially, life has been tough for a large portion of the people in the nation.  In all honesty, as a person with three kids and one income, I have always been recessed.  The recession hit upper middle and middle middle class a lot harder than it hit the rest of us.  I think I have a better toolkit than most.

    The recession has moved to relationships as well--but not in the obvious way.  Let me point out from this point moving forward that I am speaking with regard to my little circle of 40 somethings.  Each person is an individual in their own right so if you don't see yourself in this then read for informational purposes only.

    The watermark is higher.  In the day and age of recession, what gets a person in the door is less about their presentation and more about our willingness.  In short, it takes more to get in the door.  I might drive 60 miles to meet someone but on $4 a gallon gasoline it isn't likely unless I see last name potential.  Conversely, people  are more likely to hang onto and in relationships that are less than optimal if one party or another--or both feel that going it alone financially is going to be difficult.

     The reality is that the recession is also emotional.  After struggling with the day to day in and outs of navigating a workplace, finances and other interpersonal relationships there isn't a lot left to go around.  This doesn't mean that there are not tons of successful unions forming.  After the getting real is done, each individual has to determine where they are about relationships and whom to get involved with.

     For my part I will be honest to say that a stimulating, mind bending conversation is wonderful and I now will ask who is paying for the coffee that we have it over.  In every cloud, there is a silver lining.  The lining in this one may be that people are saving in record percentages and the "entrepreneurial" is shining through in all facets of life including dating.  At the end of the day, we will all make our choices--and rise or fall we will be left with the wreckage or the afterglow.

    I think so..and what?