First Ladies

     For the second time in four months my family gathered to lay someone to rest.  We count ourselves among the fortunate, because we were blessed to have them for the time that we did.  As I sat with my extended family in church in Harlem waiting for the funeral to start, I was struck by several things.  The first and most profound thing is that there are a lot of us.  My thoughts turned for a second and I thought about how we used to run around the huge yard at Cousin Hazel's house under the summer sky and how although there was no gate around it, nobody left the yard.  Good times with good people.  I was also struck by the fact that my "little cousins" are moms and dads and adults in their own right.  I remember hosting parties for my kids and them showing up with brightly colored gifts and big smiles.  At that moment, I smiled and my cousin asked what I was thinking about.  I remembered why we were gathered, and looked around and realized that other people were smiling too.

    Aunt Rose, although technically she really isn't my aunt passed away two months shy of her 111th birthday.  I remember her as a strong quiet woman who always had a hug and enjoyed a smile.  She is the Aunt of my grandmother. My great grandmother was her sister.  She was the youngest of six.  She was also a woman of beauty and was responsible for a long line of ladies.  Not just women, ladies.  She left a mark on everything she touched and believed deeply in family.  She lived a life where she laid her only daughter to rest, witnessed countless firsts and saw the development of tootpaste.

     I mourn the loss while I celebrate the blessing.  Not many people can say they are a five generation family.  Not many people can lay claim to a generation of women who taught us the importance of place settings and tablecloths, tea and cake, cooking and being loved.  They did these things well and nurtured us to do the same.  Clean white shirts.  Polished black shoes.  A warm spirit.  A loving heart.  A kind Soul.  That was ladyhood. 

    My cousins and I have vowed to try to do the same for the young girls in  our family now.  It's difficult to develop Ladies in a day and age of everything pointing to not being a lady.  We miss our Aunt Flo and our Aunt Rose and know that our lives we better for their touch.  Rest well ladies.